I Will Still Love You...

 I leave a rose, for you my dear,
I erase my smile and shed a tear.

It's hard to trust what I know is fake,
It's hard to move on, when i know I'm going to break.

I can't pretend I don't cry through it all,
I can't pretend I don't scream when I see you fall.

I can't pretend I don't feel your pain,
I can't pretend I will feel the same.

Your smile makes me want to scream,
And down my face, my tears stream.

I say I'm OK, before you ask,
I've got to keep up with my changing mask.

Eyes so lost and far away,
You can't even hear what I'm trying to say.

"I love you", But it's never enough,
But, I love you too much to ever give up.

I scream on the inside, hoping you'll hear,
You don't even move even though your so near.

The beating of your heart intensifies,
The one bold truth beneath the lies.

Just listen to me, no matter what you do,
No matter what happens, I will still love you.

by Tabithaa

True Love Conquers All

When life throws you curves and makes you sway and duck
There is always hope, as long as there's true love

Sometimes you may feel like giving in, feeling like you've had enough
And you have to reach deep inside you to find your strength

It may seem like life is beating you up
When what you need to make it through is out of reach

No matter what obstacles we all must face
There is always hope as long as the love is true

Deep within my heart, and every part of me
Knows complete, without a doubt, my love for you is true

by Lillian Jamison

Love The Children!

when the money is gone,
and they've taken everything away...
they padlocked your house,
and repoed your car...
the years have passed,
have taken their toll.
even the fires of love,
burned down to embers...
at the end of the day,
at the end of the road...
all you have left are the children.
they carry your heart
to a new day and a new world...
love the children!

every child that is born
carries the holy seed.
whatever it takes,
love the children!
a Jesus, a Buddha, a JFK,
a Gandhi, an Einstein,
a Whitman, a Jefferson...
maybe a stronger, better,
reflection of you!
love the children!

by Eric Cockrell

You, Therefore

—for Robert Philen


You are like me, you will die too, but not today:
you, incommensurate, therefore the hours shine:
if I say to you “To you I say,” you have not been
set to music, or broadcast live on the ghost
radio, may never be an oil painting or
Old Master’s charcoal sketch: you are
a concordance of person, number, voice,
and place, strawberries spread through your name
as if it were budding shrubs, how you remind me
of some spring, the waters as cool and clear
(late rain clings to your leaves, shaken by light wind),
which is where you occur in grassy moonlight:
and you are a lily, and aster, white trillium
or viburnum, by all rights mine, white star
in the meadow sky, the snow still arriving
from its earthwards journeys, here where there is
no snow (I dreamed the snow was you,
where there was snow), you are my right,
have come to be my night (your body takes on
the dimensions of sleep, the shape of sleep
becomes you): and you fall from the sky
with several flowers, words spill from your mouth
in waves, your lips taste like the sea, salt-sweet (trees
and seas have flown away, I call it
loving you): home is nowhere, therefore you,
a kind of dwell and welcome, song after all,
and free of any eden we can name.


by Reginald Shepherd

Mirabile Visu

I held your beautiful face
Within my two hands
On a sad day in Autumn.
I wiped away your tears,
Whispering softly in your ear:
"This can't be the end,
We'll be together again."...

I turned and walked away,
My plane waiting at the gate;
And when I was out of your sight,
I began to cry...

I cried so very much -
The lonely tears of a broken soul...

That sad Autumn morning,
My bags packed and ready to go;
You came into the bedroom
And found me crying...

I recall the cab ride to the airport,
Every place along the way;
A man painting a picture
On a beautiful Autumn day...

I held you in my arms under that warm sun,
My flight had been delaayed;
And we held each other closely
For the last few hours of our day.
Oh how I loved you,
And the deep friendship that we shared;
The touch of your soft skin
And the smell of your long blonde hair...

Yes,
I remember holding you in my arms,
And looking into your beautiful blue eyes
For the very last time...

I said that it couldn't be the end...

I had lied...

Jeg elsker dig, min smuk Kone, med alle min hjerte.


by Danny Watson aka ne033x

Mauvais Quart D'heure

Bitter cold was the day -
You could see your breath in the air;
Shivering beneath a thin wool blanket
And the government jumpsuit that I wear.
The silence is haunting,
Interrupted only by footsteps down the hall;
I wish I had something to read
Besides the cries written on these walls.
My memories are all that I have now,
And a very tiny sliver of hope keeps me going;
I think that because of the cold
Outside this cell, it must be snowing.
I had to break the ice in the toilet,
This morning like every other;
And I wish I could tell someone of this frozen hell,
If even a phone call home to mother.
At meals, I can just see the eyes of my bro,
Through the tiny food slot in the cell across the way;
He's talking less and less,
And his eyes seem to die a little more every day.
I don't know how long we've been here;
It's been at least a month, I know,
Since the night they chained us up
And carried us down here from the hole.
I don't know how long I can hold on,
I'm feeling weaker with every single day;
But I know I must stay strong
For my dying brother across the way.
There's about thirty of us down here,
Maybe more, I just don't know;
They had us packed like sardines in the cellhouse -
Maybe a hundred or so?
We spent Christmas and New Years,
Four of us to a tiny prison cell;
Until that night they carried us down here,
One by one, to this frozen hell.
I'd only been in prison a few months
When a riot broke out one winter morning;
It was December nineteenth,
And the entire prison was taken over without warning.
National Guard and Federal Agents came,
My unit was the second one to be hit;
They fired tear gas canisters in on us,
And that was all she writ.
We couldn't breath and couldn't see -
Snot poured out our tortured nose;
And I got hit especially bad
From a canister fired in too close.
They beat us with clubs and tied up our wrists,
We surrendered without a fight;
And I was taken with some of my bros
To the old cellhouse late that night.
And now I'm in this ice cold cell,
My mind slowly slipping away;
And all I can do is try to hold on
As I try to survive just one more day.
I try to do anything to feel somehow alive,
I pace the length of this eight foot concrete floor;
I wait on the daily meals and a little warmth
When just three times a day they open that tiny slot
To feed us through that solid steel door.


by Danny Watson aka ne033x

Ut Supra

Today,
I came to find a butterfly,
Fluttering in my window sill.
I gently captured her in my hands
And took her outside,
And I set her free.
She seemed to grab hold of a summer breeze,
And flew happily into the field.
And as I watched her fly freely away,
I thought to myself:
Had it been just yesterday
That this beautiful creature
Had been a lowly worm?


by Danny Watson aka ne033x

Compagnon De Voyage

Today,
I came to sit beside the ocean shore,
And I watched the tide come in
Like so many times before.
It was your birthday yesterday
But you weren't here,
So I celebrated with a bottle of whiskey
And a tear...

I thought I smelled your perfume
Within the summer air;
But when I called out your name,
You weren't there....

I could hear baby birds in their nests
And their song of peace and love;
And for a brief moment I thought I heard you
From somewhere up above...

Things have gotten better,
And they say that's a start;
But I still miss my best friend
And the way you touched my heart.


by Danny Watson aka ne033x

De Profundis

mystic from ne033x on Vimeo.


I remember sadly
Those tears of yesteryear;
And your beautiful eyes looking up to me
For some sort of answer.

We had promised our love to eternity,
But eternity came too soon.

And today we've gone our separate ways,
Leaving behind those dreams we once shared.

And today, I want but only one solitary wish,
That your heart is happy and full of love,
And that you've come to forgive me.

I shall never forget you,
For showing me how to love.
And I will pray for ever
That I can once again see you,
And thank you from the bottom of my heart
For walking beside me
When I needed you most.

I love you still,
My very dear friend.

Dei Gratia.


by Danny Watson aka ne033x

The Autumn Winds

I walked to the edge
Of a world I called my home,
And under a starry sky I sat beneath
A bright full moon.
I thought to capture a moment in my hands,
To merely hold it for a time;
But the tears that fell in silence
Said I'd have to leave it all behind.
I heard the Autumn winds begin to blow
Softly through the tears nearby,
And from somewhere in the distance a song
About another dream that had to die.
A falling star fell to the Earth tonight,
And my wish was heard by none;
For I looked in the distance for an angel
That I knew would never come.
And I raised my hands to Heaven,
Opening my palms to the moon above;
And the Autumn winds took away the summer
And the moment that I felt love.


by Danny Watson aka ne033x

Dialogue Des Sourds

You sat there lonely,
A little girl in a big world;
Trying so hard to understand.
A princess seeking her crown,
You waited beside the road;
Watching and waiting...

I came to you in the night,
Holding you in my two arms;
I looked deep within your soul.
I recall your smile the best -
The hope you saw in me.
And I yearned to walk with you,
To take you to my dreams;
But alas...

I could not...

And I still remember you,
Turning to look at me
But one last time;
Before you departed
Into the world...

Such is this life we live -
This path we choose to follow;
So very many faces and places
Along the way.


by Danny Watson aka ne033x

My Friend, I Miss You

My friend I miss you.
I miss hearing your voice and seeing you smile,
Just being with you and hanging out a while.

I miss getting your texts
your e-mails, phone calls and letters.
I always pray to God that things get better.
and you come back.

I miss you.

by Nikki

A Psalm of Life

Tell me not in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou are, to dust thou returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each tomorrow
Find us farther than today.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act, - act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o'erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sand of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solenm main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us then be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

R.I.P. Carly Henley

"A few messups but we're all human right? haha and well honestly I don't really like taking video after video so you get the raw version. :) LOVE Gav and love this song. Happy happy!"

-Carly

Attempt to capsulize "The Carly Henley Story"
I certainly don't feel qualified to attempt to summarize the story of the late Carly Henley, for the fact that I'd never heard of her before she took her own life at the age of 20. Since there aren't too many other attempts out there I am inclined to react to some of the Google searches that have brought a few readers to this location.

It seems that some have typed "Carly Henley Story" into Google, and it makes sense that they should find more than just the considerable fragments which exist all around the web.

So... Carly Henley came into this world on July 30, 1990. She was born in California to career-minded parents who eventually moved to a suburb of Seattle, Washington. Carly has an older brother and a younger sister and they grew up in a pleasant neighborhood. By most accounts Carly and her siblings were well provided for while they were surrounded by good people in just about every direction. Her parents were divorced at some point and each remarried.

Carly somehow mastered the mix of outside and familial influences to create quite the earthy and sought-after personality. That factor remains central to how captivating her story seems to be. A significant point in Carly's life came when her brother took interest in playing guitar at some point in high school. It seems that, in due time, Carly herself took a natural liking to the new instrument and she became inspired to express herself through music.

She became considerably popular in high school and it was then that her music really seemed to be recognized as documented by her many YouTube videos. She was homecoming queen, student-athlete (tennis), and she with her music even won her school's talent competition. Perhaps most of all she seemed approachable to just about anybody and that brought admiration from scores of her peers.

It is really difficult to measure any amount of personal insecurity Carly might have felt while all the while seeming especially enviable to those in whose circles she lived her life. This observer has significant regard for those who aren't inspired to go all-out with their appearance most of the time. The high school-aged Carly Henley clearly projected herself as she wanted to, and without giving into the demands and pressures of adolescence all around her. Her college years certainly seem to suggest that Carly had her feet firmly on the ground in high school and that she had plenty in reserve in terms of projecting her image outward.

The lyrics of the songs on Carly's "Love The Skin You're In" CD inspire some to question whether she was a troubled soul all along, perhaps moreso than were random high school classmates. I 'get' the train of thought known to those who ponder that aloud, but I really don't feel that anything sets Carly apart from other students who perhaps don't afford themselves the expressive outlet that Carly manufactured for herself.

It seems to an outsider that Carly was blessed by an environment of wholesome people, with big, giant hearts, and that Carly enhanced that environment during every moment she was on this earth.

The compelling factor to Carly's story is that she was truly envied by most of those around her, AND that she developed her expressive soul to a depth seldom demanded of people so attractive on the outside. Nobody can understand why somebody who lived and experienced life to a fullness most may never know, would be inspired to end that life. This corner is fully confident that the impact of Zoloft was the determining factor in Carly's eventual choice to die. (after telling of feeling depressed during the summer of 2010, Carly eventually started taking Zoloft some 10 days before her death. On the weekend before her passing she had gone on a road trip to a concert with her family and was singing and dancing quite contently while there.)

With many suicide victims, we need not look too far below the surface to find significant reasons why they thought they didn't want to live anymore, but with Carly Henley, those around her were far more inclined to think: "hey, can I know your life if you're not going to use it?"

I was rewarded recently when descriptions of Carly's songs confirmed that she had known "heartbreak" of her own, presumably romantically, and that such was the catalyst for some of her songs. I was so glad to know that Carly Henley got to love, and I sense that she KNEW how to love purely on instinct and examples from her family alone. (note: I perceive that heartbreak to have been some time earlier, and not near to her death, but I am not familiar with actual details in that area of her life)

She was a person whose feet were planted ever so firmly in the ground, and whose spirit just soared in nearly every facet of her life. I'm convinced that the many human elements which fully surrounded Carly Henley's 20 years on earth, couldn't have created a Carly Henley if at the same time they could have been a direct or indirect inspiration for her demise.

Significant in Carly Henley's story is the huge outpouring of care and concern from far and wide which was so very prominent in the days, weeks, and months after Carly's passing.

In the days immediately following Carly's death of Wednesday, October 6, 2010, there was a giant memorial service on the campus of the University of Washington. An outdoor event, attendance was said to be in the thousands. Elsewhere kids from her high school sat outside on a rainy night 24 hours later singing songs in memory of Carly Henley. Even Carly's obituary includes: "She loved the rain."

Two weeks later a local coffee shop hosted an Open Mike night in memory of Carly Henley. Carly had played her music there many times, singing to friends and locals. The crowd in attendance on the Open Mike night was intimate, genuine, and caring.

Soon Carly's family got the idea to put together a CD of her music which was the centerpiece of "The Carly Henley Project". They also have wonderful t-shirts emblazoned with "Love Wins" (one of Carly's favorite sayings, and one that was taped onto her guitar). The project was introduced at kickstarter.com and was fully funded nearly three times over within a couple of days. They sell totebags, songbooks, the CD of Carly's music, and even a DVD of various Carly performances (wish I'd noticed the DVD before). The proceeds go to charities of the sort Carly would probably like.

Because the media generally doesn't publicize suicide news, it wasn't easy for the general public to learn a great deal about Carly's story. That presents something of a conundrum in that Carly's vast appeal could potentially inspire people everywhere to change the stigma behind depression and suicide, if only more mainstream attention could be focused on her story.

It just so happens that Carly's cousins are firmly entrenched in the local music scene. With that it was only a matter of effort that they could bring together and pull off the big event that was the CD release concert of June 2, 2011 before a sold-out crowd of 1100-plus. Concert-goers flooded the nearby area with Carly's "Love Wins" t-shirts.

The whole event was a stirring testimony to the kinds of human spirits which surrounded Carly during her entire life. The only way one can lose a Carly Henley is to have known the vast satisfaction of having had Carly Henley in one's surroundings for up to twenty years.

The most common phrase associated with suicide victims is that she "had everything going for her", and the mental challenge known to most who have taken-in significant amounts of Carly Henley's story is tied to the fact that Carly Henley probably DID...

http://inspiredby-carly-henley.blogspot.com/2011/06/attempt-to-capsulize-carly-henley-story.html