Many of my friends and family know the "history" I have with my ex, Dara. Her drug
addiction, and to be fair - mine too. I ended up quitting, and she
didn't. She ended up literally losing everything, including her baby
boy, Blaze, who I helped raise. I haven't spoken much of the details,
but just know that for the past many months I have tried my very best to
deal with an absolutely broken heart. You have no idea. I was in
Blaze's life since he was just a few months old - changed his diapers,
and tried my very best to show him a good world. He was my little buddy.
And, he still is - will always be.
In the end, it wasn't about
me and Dara, but this little child. He was taken away from his parents
and put into foster care, and rightly so. It all depended on Dara to get
clean to save him. I tried so hard to get her to realize this. I got
frustrated often - even going so far as to tell her that Blaze doesn't
deserve this, and that it was her fault. Not a day passed where I did
not worry what Blaze was thinking of all of this. This is sense of pain
and sorrow that no words can ever describe. What I have been dealing
with.
Anyhow, a couple weeks ago, Dara came over and told me she
was going to check into treatment for her drug addiction. I was so
happy. BUT, I've heard it all before, so I just hoped it was true. She
was that beautiful Dara I fell in love with, and I was just floored. I
told her that I would literally do anything to help her with this. Well,
she cleaned up my house, took care of me, and then all the sudden she
was gone. I assumed she went back to her junkie buddies, and at this
point, I literally lost all hope. If you watched my Queen music video,
that's the story behind it.
http://youtu.be/C0dKQrjkHEcSo,
I didn't think it could get any worse, but it did - losing all hope in
Dara getting better, and for saving Blaze from this bullshit he's had to
see. Everything was now a pure struggle for me - just the simple act of
getting out of bed in the morning. I felt lost, and everything just
seemed hopeless.
Until yesterday...
The first thing that
happened was - that morning - me admitting to one of my closest bros
that no one understands the bond that Dara and me have. And, I know
she's upset cuz I feel it. But, I can't do anything anymore cuz we'd
came to the end of our journey together. I remember him telling me, 'you
don't have to tell me what you and Dara have because I know.' And, it's
the truth - Dara is my soulmate - we both know this. And, I am going to
help illustrate this point.
About noon, a friend of mine
stopped by and in conversation she brought up that she thought Dara had
went to treatment after all. I was shocked - I said, "WHAT?" And, she
told me that she didn't know for sure, but she thought Dara had went
into the drug treatment program.
About an hour later, I go to my
bro again, and I told him what I heard. I told him that I really needed
to know for sure because it would literally change everything! I called
my friend back and she told me Dara won't even be able to call or write
for fifteen days, if she was in treatment. All I could think about was
that I needed to know for sure - so I could stop trying to hate someone I
love so much.
About an hour later, a call came from a Portland,
Oregon number. It was Dara. The first thing she said was that she had
this strong feeling that she needed to call me. She convinced the staff
there that it was an emergency and called me from the office.
Man!
Here's where my "manhood" comes into question because I started crying
the minute I heard her voice. She'd been clean and in treatment for 5
days already, and she liked it. It was not as hard as she thought it
would be. She has her own little apartment, and Blaze will be there in a
couple weeks. Yes, it's a family drug abuse treatment program. She's in
another city, far away, and she said the program will last months. I
reassured her that I would literally do anything to help her with this!
She needs anything - she better ask!
Anyhow, I know in my heart
and soul that the change has taken hold of her life. This is a miracle.
This is - literally - all that meant anything to me in life right now.
We both told each other, 'I love you', and I am so happy. And, I'm
writing this as an example.
Miracles do happen!
