I Told Myself

I stand alone    

I told myself that life
With all its misgivings
Had much to offer, I struggled
I wept into my hands,
Feeling the cold winds
Of change and transition blow
I equivocated, whispering
Sweet nothings to myself
To carry on.
To believe in myself.
To embrace independence.
Mayhaps it was never enough.
No matter who told me that
It would be alright,
That I was smart and kind
That I was special
I never believed a word.
Whispering those same words
I tremble violently with
Uncertainty and fear.
I stood alone and felt helpless
I braced against my desire
To renounce the courage I had felt
Remembering how I felt alive again
Knowing that I was worth it
Enough to believe in
Enough to hold on to
Having faith in what I will become.
I cannot stand behind the safety
Of what is familiar and comfortable.
I feel empty and torn, standing alone
But I will fill that void
With my hopes and dreams
And know that I am strong.

...for everything.

by  ♪ Erica ♪

http://ericawonderswhy.livejournal.com/