Because I Could Not Stop For Death

Because I could not stop for Death
He kindly stopped for me
The Carriage held but just Ourselves
And Immortality.

We slowly drove, he knew no haste
And I had put away
My labor and my leisure too,
For his civility.

We passed the School, where Children strove
At recess in the ring
We passed the fields of gazing grain
We passed the setting sun.

Or rather, he passed us
The dews drew quivering and chill
For only Gossamer, my gown
My tippet only tulle.

We paused before a house that seemed
A swelling of the GROUND
The roof was scarcely visible
The cornice in the ground.

Since then 'tis centuries and yet
Feels shorter than the DAY
I first surmised the horses' heads
Were toward eternity.


by Emily Dickinson

Welcome to Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this…



When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.



After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."



"Holland?!" you say. "What do you mean, Holland?" I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy.



But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.



The important thing is that they haven't taken you to some horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.



So you must go out and buy a new guidebook. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.



It's just a different place. It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland even has Rembrandts.



But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."



The pain of that will never, ever, go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.



But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

Written by Emily Perl Kingsley


To read more beautiful and heartwarming autism poems click here.

The mountains are calling, and I must go.

a poem for the broken hearted.

This is a poem for the broken hearted.

For the abandon.

For heavy eyelids,

and led boots.

This is a poem for those who wonder

if they'll ever be able to shake the thought of their ex-lover.

But pray they never do.

This is a poem for those who's hearts have been broken so much,

that it only pumps sawdust into your veins.

For the constantly hazy eyed,

constantly drunk,

constantly stomach punched

constantly hurt.

Constantly changing the songs on your ipod

because every single one reminds you of her.

Because she has branded a hole the shape of herself into your soul.

Left you so fucking broken,

even God looks at you and shrugs his shoulders.

Somedays, you will wish your snooze button was a noose.

Somedays, you the only thought more unbearable

than the ones about her,

are the ones where your mother is watching your bloody shirt

tumble in the dryer.

And somedays, youre worried even that thought won't keep you alive.

But listen,

you are not a human sacrifice.

I am not a human sacrifice.

I will no longer bleed in your name.

I will no longer drive past your fucking house,

and I will no longer look for you every time I go to a coffee shop.

And I will no longer look at red ford focuses

hoping you're behind the steering wheel.

You're never behind the steering wheel.

I will no longer cry after I have an orgasm.

I will no longer imagine that the girls I fuck are you.

I will no longer fuck girls.

See, I'm 24 years old and I still think love

is in the front drawer of a one night stand.

Every morning for me is empty,

dwelling in a place where the sun never rises.

Because some days, I still think you were the one who put the sun there

in the first place.

This is a poem for the broken hearted.

I know that time is your friend now,

and it seems like she even broke the hands on your clock,

but the crow bar she jambed up underneath your ribcage,

will rattle loose again.

And that shit hurts even when it's coming back out.

And every time someone says to me “it gets better”

I kinda want to punch them in the throat,

but it gets better.

Eventually,

after a while.

At least that's what I keep telling myself.

by Erica

http://ericaisabird.blogspot.com/2013/08/a-poem-for-broken-hearted.html

I Can’t Remember

I can’t remember
skipping rocks on the beach
My childhoods forgotten
My childhoods lost.

Going to the doctor
Making mud cakes
Playing with friends in the street.

I can’t remember
All the bereavement
My childhoods forgotten
My childhoods lost.

The doctor doing surgery
Me getting pain pills
I can’t remember any of it
None of it’s clear.

I still can’t remember,
How it’s gone
My childhoods forgotten
My childhoods lost.


by Jamesha Willis

Jail

Sitting in my cell
thinking
what the hell is wrong with me
I'm going down
for prostitution
and don't know what to do next
waiting
to see what the judge
has in store for me
I am scared
to death
I let a pimp abuse me
and let him walk free

damn

I wish I could go back in time
scared to look my mom in the eye
scared to become judged
by everyone I know

How am I just going to let this ride off me?
So now
sitting where I started
all because I'm too scared
to talk about what's going on with me.

In my cell
everyday, thinking
why
I let him walk free

Now I am doing a 6 month bid
for someone who doesn't even care
where I am

I'm in jail
In my cell
aching from the pain
of jail.

by Paulette Essie

A WARRIOR IN CHAINS

WHEN

A WARRIOR'S

SPIRIT IS WHOLE AND STRONG

HE IS NOT AFRAID TO DIE

IT'S OF NO AVAIL

TO THREATEN A WARRIOR WITH DEATH

FOR DEATH HAS LITTLE MEANING

TO LIVE

A WARRIOR NEEDS

FREEDOM

FOR IT IS THE INDIAN WAY

TO ENDURE

A WARRIOR NEEDS

THE RIGHT

TO FREEDOM OF THOUGHT

A WARRIOR TAKES

CONSOLE IN THE

SACRED PIPE

FOR IT IS HIS RELIGION

LIKE A DIEING POOL

OF WATER

A WARRIOR BECOMES STAGNANT

WITHOUT FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION

FOR IT IS

THE

INDIAN WAY

A WARRIOR PERISHES SILENTLY

ALONE

FOR HIS PEOPLE CANNOT

HEAR HIS WORDS

WITHOUT THE FREEDOM

OF COMMUNICATION

IN PRISON THERE ARE

FEW

HUMAN RIGHTS

MY BED HAS BEEN A CONCRETE

FLOOR

MY BLANKET HAS BEEN MY

OWN BLOOD

I SURVIVE

WHILE THOSE THAT

ABUSE ME ARE

HONORED

BUT I AM NOURISHED BY

THE GREAT SPIRIT

EVER TRUE AND UNWAVERING

I DO NOT FEEL LOST

I AM NOT ALONE AND WEAK

MY PRINCIPLES REMAIN

STEADFAST

MY BELIEFS REMAIN THE

INDIAN WAY

by Bobby Garcia

The Bandit

Upon his way to rob a Bank
He paused to watch a fire;
Though crowds were pressing rank on rank
He pushed a passage nigher;
Then sudden heard, piercing and wild,
The screaming of a child.
A Public Enemy was he,
A hater of the law;
He looked around for bravery
But only fear he saw;
Then to the craven crowds amaze
He plunged into the blaze.
How anguished was the waiting spell
Of horror and of pain!
Then--then from out that fiery hell
He staggered forth again:
The babe was safe, in blankets wrapt,
The man flame lapt.
His record was an evil one,
Of violence and sin.
No good on earth he'd ever done,
Yet--may he Heaven win!
A gangster he . . . Is it not odd?
--With guts of God.

by Robert William Service

Some Sad Facts About Suicide

1. The word “suicide” comes from two Latin roots, sui (“of oneself”) and cidium (“killing” or “slaying”).ⁱ
2. People have committed suicide in an endless variety of ways, including swallowing poisonous spiders, power-drilling holes in their heads, sticking hot pokers down their throats, choking on underwear, injecting peanut butter into their veins, crushing their necks in vices, and hurling themselves into vats of beer.^b
3. In China, someone takes his or her own life on average every two minutes. China accounts for nearly a quarter of the global total of suicides with between 250,000 and 300,000 suicides a year.^b
4. Among famous figures who committed suicide: Sigmund Freud, Cleopatra, Mark Antony, Brutus, Judas Iscariot, Hannibal, Nero, Virginia Wolf, Adolf Hitler, Ernest Hemmingway, Sylvia Plath, Vincent van Gogh, Jack London, Dylan Thomas, Judy Garland, Rudolph Hess, Pontius Pilate, Socrates, and possibly Tchaikovsky, Elvis Presley, and Marilyn Monroe.ⁱ
5. It is more likely someone will die from suicide than from homicide. For every two people killed by homicide, three people die of suicide.^b

The suicide rate in the United States has been climbing steadily since 1999

6. In America, someone attempts suicide once every minute, and someone completes a suicide once every 17 minutes. Throughout the world, approximately 2,000 people kill themselves each day.^b
7. Suicide is the 8^th leading cause of death in the United States.^b
8. The most common types of suicide include copycat, euthanasia, familicide, forced, honor, Internet, martyrdom, ritual, attack, and cop suicides.^b
9. The acne medication isotretinoin (Acutane) has been linked to a possible increase risk of suicide. The FDA requires Acutane to include a label warning that the product may be linked to suicide, depression, and psychosis.^b
10. The spring months of March, April, and May have consistently shown to have the highest suicide rate, 4-6% higher than the average for the rest of the year. Christmas season is actually below average. Some studies suggest greater seasonality in suicides in rural rather than urban areas.^g
11. When her husband Caecina Paetus hesitated to kill himself honorably, his wife Arria (d. A.D. 42) snatched the dagger from her husband, stabbed herself, and handed the weapon back with the words “Paete, non dolet“ (“Paeuts, it does not hurt”).ⁱ
12. French philosopher Albert Camus (1913-1960) perhaps best explains the divergent views philosophers and theologians hold concerning suicide when he said, “What is called a reason for living is also an excellent reason for dying.”^e
13. David Carradine, famous for his roles in the 1970s series Kung Fu and the Kill Bill movie trilogy, was found hanging in a hotel closet with a yellow nylon rope around his neck and a black rope around his genitals. Family members deny it was a suicide.^a
14. Autoerotic asphyxiation, also know as sexual hanging, is a type of abnormal sexual behavior in which a person (usually a young male) tries to restrict the flow of oxygen to the brain (usually with a rope around the neck) while masturbating to enhance the sexual experience. The practice arose out of the observation that men executed by hanging often got an erection and sometimes ejaculated. The practice is mentioned in Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot.^b
15. A college student committed suicide by taking a drug overdose in front of a live Web cam while some users egged him on. There are also several pro-Internet sites that give detailed information on the most effective ways to commit suicide.^c

Older adults have the highest suicide rates, more than 50% higher than young people

16. While there is a common perception that suicide rates are highest among the young, the elderly, in fact, have the highest suicide rates.^e
17. Some studies suggest a correlation between a sport team’s performance and fans’ suicide rates.^f
18. Sylvia Plath’s (1932-1963) novel The Bell Jar, about a gifted young woman’s mental breakdown, mirrors Plath’s own breakdown and is considered to be one of the best-told tales of a woman’s descent into insanity. It was published only weeks before Plath killed herself.^g
19. One of the first defenses of suicide written in English was John Donne’s (1572-1631) unorthodox Biathanos (1609). In his work, Donne proposed that suicide is not incompatible with the laws of God, reason, and nature. Other writers such as Voltaire (1694-1778) and Hume (1711-1776) also attacked suicide taboos and led the way to abandoning legal punishments of suicide attempters.ⁱ
20. Many cultures have prohibited a normal burial for people who committed suicide, although the restrictions varied according to time and place. A common practice in England until 1823 was to bury a suicidal person at night in a crossroad with a stake driven through the heart. In France, the suicide’s body was dragged through the streets and then hanged from the public gallows. In Prussia, early laws required the victim to be buried under the gallows.^j
21. One in seven Canadians has seriously considered suicide, and more than 3,500 Canadians kill themselves each year. Canada’s suicide rate (currently 12.3 per 100,000) is consistently higher than the United States' rate (currently 11.2).^b
22. Over the last decade, the suicide rate among young children has increased dramatically. In 2002, suicide was the sixth leading cause of death of five- to 14-year olds and the third leading cause of death in preteens. Suicidologists are alarmed that children as young as age two are also increasingly attempting suicide.^b
23. Five to 10% of suicides take place in mental hospitals.^e
24. There is some evidence that suicide attempts during the first week of the menstrual cycle may be associated with low levels of estrogen.^g

American troops are committing suicide in the largest numbers since records began in the 1980s

25. During 2008, 140 American soldiers committed suicide, breaking all previous suicide records in the military. In the first four months of 2009, 91 soldiers committed suicide. If this rate continues throughout 2009, by the end of the year more than 270 soldiers will have killed themselves, leading some scholars to claim there is a suicide epidemic in the military.^h
26. Caucasians tend to have higher suicide rates than African Americans.^b
27. In ancient times, sometimes groups of people would commit suicide rather than be taken prisoner or tortured by their captors. For example, in AD 473, 960 Jews died in what appears to have been a mass murder/suicide on top of Masada rather than be enslaved by the Romans. Only two women and five children escaped this death.ⁱ
28. On November 18, 1978, the dynamic leader of a religious group called the People’s Temple ordered his followers to drink cyanide-laced juice. In all, 913 people died, including nearly 300 children. The leader, Jim Jones (1931-1978), shot himself in the head.^f
29. In India, a Hindu wife was expected to throw herself on her husband’s burning body on the funeral pyre so she could enter the next life with him. The practice (called suttee) was abolished in 1829 by British India, though isolated cases of it have occurred into the twenty-first century. The term derived from the goddess Sati, and the term sati is now sometimes used to describe a chaste woman.^b
30. In Japanese culture, seppuku (“stomach cutting”) was a ritual suicide performed by warriors (usually Samurai) about to get captured. During the ritual, the warrior would slice up his abdomen and stretch out his neck, and then one of his comrades would behead him with one stroke. While the practice was banned in the seventeenth century, it has persisted to this day.^b
31. Only seven instances of suicide are reported in the Old Testament and one in the New Testament. Old Testament suicides include Samson, Saul, Saul’s armor bearer, Ahitophel, Zimri, Razis, and Abimelech. In the New Testament, Judas Iscariot is the only recorded suicide.^b
32. Hegesias (320-280 B.C.) was known as the “Death Persuader” or the “Advocate of Death” and belonged to a minor school of Greek philosophy named Cyrenaics which advocated an early version of hedonism. Hegasias' lectures prompted so many listeners to commit suicide that he was forbidden to speak.ⁱ
33. Aceldama (“field of blood”), where Judas killed himself near Jerusalem, became a pauper’s burial ground after priests bought it with the 30 pieces of silver flung at their feet by Judas.^b
34. Though the Bible doesn’t specifically prohibit suicide and there is no particular word for the act itself, Christianity general condemns the practice as initially stated by St. Augustine. He was concerned with the decimation of Christians by suicide and condemned those who committed suicide just so they could gain immediate entrance into heaven. He successfully supplanted the Roman ideal of heroic individualism with a Platonic concept of submission to divine authority. In A.D. 563, the Council of Braga officially condemned suicide.ⁱ
35. The Qu’ran explicitly forbids suicide as the gravest sin, more serious even than homicide. Muslims believe that each individual has his or her kismet or destiny, which is preordained by God and must not be defied. But killing oneself as an act of jihad (holy war) is not considered a suicide.^b
36. In the Mayan culture, hanging was the only method of suicide deemed appropriate and anyone who committed suicide this way was guaranteed a place in the afterlife. They even had a goddess of the noose and the gallows named Ixtab (“Rope Woman”).^b

Hanging is the leading method of suicide around the world and is particularly popular in rural areas

37. Hanging is the leading method of suicide worldwide.^b
38. Although women attempt suicide about three times more often than men, men complete suicide about three times more often than women.^f
39. Four out of five people who commit suicide have attempted to kill themselves at least once previously.^f
40. Suicide is the leading cause of death for people with schizophrenia.^f
41. A number of suicidologists have criticized news coverage of suicides, citing that reading about suicide victims in the news often triggers copycat or “contagion” suicides.^f
42. During the Middle Ages, suicide was often equated with murder and even diabolical possession in various parts of Europe. Three common penalties existed: confiscation of property, degradation of corpse, and refusal of burial in consecrated grounds. These views persisted throughout the eighteenth century.^j
43. Although Nero (A.D. 37-68) insisted he wanted to commit suicide honorably, he actually had himself killed by an attendant. During his lifetime, he had caused several suicides, including that of his teacher Seneca, the poet Lucan, and Petroniu, who is thought to be the author of Satyricon. These were all compulsory suicides in lieu of execution.ⁱ
44. Levels of a brain transmitter called serotonin is considered a possible predictor of suicide. Some researchers found that people with low levels of serotonin are six to 10 more times likely to commit suicide than are people with normal levels.^f
45. Suicide rates tend to reflect economic conditions. In the United States, for example, suicide rates declined during the prosperous years after WWI and WWII, but rose during the Great Depression. Ironically, suicide rates tend to decrease during times of war.^b
46. Oregon and Washington are the only states that specifically allow physician-assisted suicide under certain strict guidelines. A few of these guidelines include being diagnosed with a terminal illness that will lead to death in six months, making two oral requests and one written request for assistance separated by 15 days, and persuading two physicians that the patient is sincere and is not influenced by depression.^b
47. Beliefs about suicide varied in ancient Greece. The Stoics and Epicureans, for example, considered that one’s destiny was a personal choice. Cato, Pliny, and Seneca all thought the choice of suicide was acceptable. On the other hand, Pythagoras, Plato, Aristotle, Virgil, Ovid, and Cicero opposed suicide.ⁱ
48. Some scholars suggest that there are national preferences for modes of suicide. For example, the Russians prefer hanging, the English and Irish prefer poison, the Italians prefer firearms, and the Americans prefer firearms, poisons, and gas. Proclivities for certain methods tend to travel with immigrants wherever they go.^g
49. In Rome, razors, scalpels, and daggers were more common methods of suicide than hanging (which was seen as unclean and shameful), jumping, and poisoning or other drugs. Less often, but not rarely, the Romans starved themselves to death by refusing to eat or set themselves on fire (immolation).ⁱ
50. Martin Luther, Puritan religious leaders, and philosophers such as John Locke, Rousseau, and Kierkegaard were adamantly opposed to suicide.i
51. In America, the most common suicide method for both men and women is firearms, accounting for 60% of all suicides. For women, the next most common method is ingesting solid and liquid poison or pills. The next most common method for men is hanging/strangling/suffocation.^f
52. Though there is need to practice caution in the comparison of religion and suicide, studies suggest that in the United States, Catholics appear to have suicide rates higher than Jews but lower than Protestants. Generally speaking, higher suicide rates are found among the multi-denominational, loosely federated Protestants.^b
53. Several U.S. state and national studies suggest that suicide attempts among gay, lesbian, and bisexual high school students are higher than their heterosexual peers.^b

Abuse in early childhood may change the genetic structure of the brain, leading to a greater susceptibility to suicide

54. Experts believe that early exposure to child abuse may disrupt the proper development of communication pathways within the brain and, consequently, abuse victims are more likely than their peers to commit suicide.^f
55. There is increasing evidence that individuals with a family history of suicide are more vulnerable to becoming victims of suicide themselves.^b
56. While some studies seem to suggest a link between the use of Prozac and suicide rates, the makers of Prozac minimize a correlation.^b
57. No suicides have been reported in the several small South Sea Islands and the Hindu Kush Mountains of India. Countries that rank unusually high include Hungry, Denmark, Finland, Austria, Germany, Sweden, Switzerland, and Japan. Countries on the low end include Philippines, Angola, Jamaica, Mexico, the Bahamas, Kuwait, Jordan, Kenya, and Egypt.^b
58. New and less stringent attitudes toward suicide emerged during the Renaissance as churchly taboos began to lose their power. For example, Shakespeare’s tragedies typically present suicide in sympathetic terms, as seen in the suicides of Hamlet, Othello, Lear, Romeo, Juliet, Brutus, Antony, and Cleopatra. Sixteenth-century essayist Michel de Montaigne argues that the right to die was a personal choice, and Sir Thomas More (1478-1535) justified suicide as a form of euthanasia in his Utopia.ⁱ
59. A provocative 1982 book titled Suicide, mode d’emploi is both a how-to manual and a political manifesto encouraging readers to exercise their right to die. It contains information about those prescription drugs that ensure a “gentle death” along with how to calculate a lethal dose.^e
60. Famous literary suicides include Gustave Flaubert’s Madame Bovary (Madame Bovary), Victor Hugo’s Inspector Javert (Les Miserable), Goethe’s Werther (The Sorrows of Young Werther), Ridley Scott’s Thelma and Louise (Thelma and Louise), and Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina (Anna Karenina).^b
61. Most European countries formally decriminalized suicide in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, although it remained a crime in England and Wales until 1961 and in Ireland until 1993.ⁱ
62. Kamikaze (“divine wind”) pilots are an example of an altruistic suicide. More than 2,000 young Japanese died in this manner. The number of ships they sank is a matter of debate, with figures as low as 34 and as high as 70.^g
63. Attempted suicide was once considered a felony in Kentucky.^b
64. The first suicide note is thought to have been written by an Egyptian four thousand years ago. In his poems, he describes the pain of his existence and the attractions of death.^b
65. Russian poet Sergei Esenin (1895-1925) wrote an entire poem in his own blood that served as suicide note.^e
66. In a study of genuine suicide notes versus simulated ones, the genuine notes are much more specific about giving directives concerning property distribution and insurance policies and more concerned with the pain and suffering of others. They are more likely to express psychological pain and more likely to use “love” in their texts. The simulated notes give greater details about the motives of suicide, mention the act of suicide itself, and more often use euphemistic phrases for death and suicide.^e

Signs urging counseling are posted at the Golden Gate Bridge, the most popular place in the world to commit suicide

67. Popular suicide locations include San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge, Japan’s Aokigahara Forest (“sea of trees” or “suicide forest”), and England’s Beachy Head. In all these places there are posted signs urging potential victims to seek help.^g
68. The jump from the Golden Gate Bridge is 250 feet. Trauma from the jump is dramatic and can cause ripped blood vessels, demolished central nervous systems, and a transected spinal cord. While a few have died from drowning and one from a shark attack, most die from the impact of the body on the water. Only 1% who jump survive.^g
69. The Eskimo, Norse, Samoan, and Crow Indian cultures accepted and encouraged “altruistic” suicide among the elderly and sick.^f
70. Roman gladiators would sometimes thrust wooden sticks or spears down their throats or force their heads into the spokes of moving carts so that they could choose their own time of death rather than another person’s imposed time and way of dying.ⁱ
71. September 10 is World Suicide Prevention Day.^b
72. The top predictors for suicide are diagnosable mental condition, co-morbid substance abuse, loss of social support, and access to a firearm.^e
73. Children of parents who commit suicide are a higher risk to committee suicide later in life.^e
74. The first suicide recorded in the Bible was Abimelech, who lived in the twelfth century B.C. He was the son of Giddeon (Jerubbaal) and a concubine, and he attempted to kill his 70 half-brothers so he could be king. In his final battle, a woman dropped a millstone on his head, and he ordered his sword bearer to kill him so it wouldn’t be said he was killed by a woman.^b
75. Thirty-nine members of the Heaven’s Gate cult killed themselves in March 1997 in a mansion near San Diego. The victims were between 18 and 24 years old, drank a lethal mixture of Phenobarbital and vodka, and died over a three-day period. They believed their spirits would rendezvous with a UFO behind Comet Hale-Bopp.^e
76. Dante Alighieri (1265-1321) writes about the Wood of the Suicides in Canto XIII of his The Divine Comedy. He writes that Minos sends a suicide victim’s soul to the Seventh Circle of Hell (below heretics and murders) where it falls into the ground, grows into a sapling, and then into a tree. Harpies feed on the tree, causing it great pain. After Judgment Day, the suicide victim’s soul will hang from the thorns of trees.^b

Divorce usually leads more men than women to suicide

77. Divorced people are three times as likely to commit suicide as people who are married. Moreover, children of divorce are at a higher risk for committing suicide when they grow up. Divorced and separated men are two and a half times more likely to commit suicide than married men. Divorce, however, doesn’t seem to lead more women to commit suicide.^f
78. Though studies remain inconclusive, among the professional disciplines, doctors are twice as likely to kill themselves as the general population. And female physicians are more likely than their male counterparts. Some scholars have identified psychiatry, anesthesiology, and ophthalmology as specialties at greater risk for suicide, with pediatrics having the least risk.^b
79. Druids or priests of the Celtic people believed that those who killed themselves to accompany their dead friends will live with them in the after life.^b
80. Prolonged exposure to extremely low-frequency electromagnetic fields such as those emitted by large power lines may double the risk of suicide. Researchers suggest that electromagnetic fields may reduce the production of melatonin, a hormone that maintains daily circadian rhythms, which are also associated with depression.^b
81. The last time someone jumped off the Empire State Building was in 2000, but there have been more than 30 suicides at the 1,250 foot skyscraper since it opened in 1941. Most people who jump never made it the street, but landed on one of the building’s setbacks.^g
82. The suicide rate for Alaskan Native Indians is twice that of the U.S. population, and in western Alaska, the Eskimo suicide rates are even higher. The most common method used is hanging.^g
83. Fiji Indians have the world’s highest female suicide rates. A major cause of the rise of suicides has been the erosion of social structures and values. Additionally, early Fiji Islanders forced the many wives of a tribal chieftain to kill themselves when he died. The women would actually compete to be the first to die, believing the first would become the chieftain’s favorite wife in the afterworld.^f
84. The odds that potentially suicidal adolescents will kill themselves double when a gun is kept in the home.^b
85. In the United States, Nevada consistently leads suicide rate statistics, with Alaska, Arizona, California, Colorado, Florida, Montana, New Mexico, Oregon, Washington, and Wyoming variously falling within the top ten. Highest regional rates are generally those of the Rocky Mountain and West Coast areas, with the South showing the lowest rate, except for Florida.^b
86. Since the Golden Gate Bridge opened in 1937, more than 1,200 people have jumped to their deaths, making it the number one spot in the world for suicides.^b
87. Abel Griffiths was the last person who committed suicide in England to be dragged through the streets of London and buried at a crossroads. He was a 22-year-old law student and was buried in only his drawers, socks, and a sheet in June 1823. The usual tradition of driving a stake through the corpse was omitted. Crossroads represented the sign of the cross and the steady traffic over the grave was believed to help keep the person’s ghost down. Also, ancient sacrificial victims had been slain at crossroads.^b
88. In the movie Soylent Green (1973) starring Charlton Heston, people in an overcrowded world are encouraged to enter special suicide centers. The corpses are later processed into Soylent Green wafers as food for the overpopulated world.^b
89. The first scientific study of suicide was Le Suicide written by French sociologist Emile Durkheim (1858-1917).^e
90. The M*A*S*H theme song is titled “Suicide is Painless” and contains the lyrics “. . . cause suicide is painless/It brings on many changes/And I can take it or leave it if I please.”^b

Most insurance policies include a suicide provision, given that the suicide took place two years after the policy issue date

91. The usual modern life insurance policy will pay for death by suicide provided that the death occurs two years or more after the initiation of the policy.^b
92. Between 10% and 35% of people who commit suicide leave behind a note.^e
93. Publius Cornelius Tacitus (c. A.D. 55-120) reports on the ancient practice of pinning down the body of suicide victims in bogs. The practice predates Christianity among Germanic tribes and was done to prevent the spirits of the dead from haunting or harming the living.^b
94. Monday appears to be the day on which most suicides occur. Saturday sees the fewest.^e
95. Some experts believe that 25% of drivers who die in auto accidents cause them subconsciously. “Autocides” are suicides disguised as automobile accidents.^b
96. Nearly 10% of fatal police shootings in the United States are a result of “suicide by cop.”^b
97. Many more suicides are linked to psychiatric illness than to serious medical disorders such as Huntington’s disease, multiple sclerosis, or cancer.^e
98. Many Jews imprisoned at Treblinka, one of the most notorious World War II Nazi concentration camps, chose to kill themselves as an affirmation of the freedom to control their own destiny.^d
99. One suicide victim who committed suicide by jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge left behind a note saying: “I’m going to walk to the bridge. If one person smiles at me on the way, I will not jump.”^e

-- Posted July 15, 2009

References
^a Duke, Alan. “Carradine’s Body to Return Home, While Questions Remain.” CNN.com. June 5, 2009. Accessed: June 23, 2009.
^b Evans, Glen, et. al. 2003. The Encyclopedia of Suicide. 2nd ed. New York, NY: Facts on File, Inc.
^c “Florida Teen Broadcasts Suicide on the Internet.” New York Post. November 21, 2008. Accessed: June 23, 2009.
^d Goeschel, Christian. 2009. Suicide in Nazi Germany. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
^e Jamison, Kay Redfield. 1999. Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide. New York, NY: Vintage Books.
^f Joiner, Thomas. 2005. Why People Die by Suicide. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
^g Lieberman, Lisa. 2003. Leaving You: The Cultural Meaning of Suicide. Chicago, IL: Ivan R. Dee Publisher.
^h “Military Suicide Rate.” ChicagoTribune.com. May 29, 2009. Accessed: June 23, 2009.
ⁱ Minois, Georges. 1999. History of Suicide: Voluntary Death in Western Culture. Trans. Lydia G. Cochrane. Baltimore, MD: The John Hopkins University Press.
^j Murray, Alexander. 2000. Suicide in the Middle Ages: The Curse on Self-Murder. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

from http://facts.randomhistory.com/2009/07/15_suicide.html

Paw Prints from Heaven

Though you can't see me, I am always around...
Though you can't hear me, I am speaking to you...
Though you can't touch me, I am reaching for you...
The images you see, but cannot explain...
The energy you feel, but cannot see...
The love that you feel, when thinking of me...
My presence you feel, when walking outside...
My hugs remembered, never let go...
My heart that I gave you, that you now wear...
The things you are seeing, that no one can explain...
And the things that you hear, with no one around...
These gifts that I give you, are my Paw Prints from Heaven.

- Romeo

Hope

Hoping for peace on Earth;
Wishing upon shooting stars;
Taking chances to make things right;
Helping others, and listening well;
Making problems disappear;
Giving heart in all we do;
To give love, and never take;
Will give us hope; and one day peace.

by Abegail Samson

Echoes of the Heart

There are echoes I hear, old songs in the dark
of the Indian ways, of long ago days,
still heard all around, in our valley below...
Where their dreams of tomorrow, are still sung by the lark....
 
As the twilight would come, under a red setting sun,
with the fragrance of loam, and the tired walk done... 
they would bed under trees where the heather was strewn
they would burn a small fire, and prepare a warm meal,
with smoke in the breeze, while the whippoorwill's song
would, drift by the face of the moon

On their heels was the dust, in the noontime sun
They journeyed from tribes from the dusk of the past, 
wearing the colorful hope of tomorrow's new task 
Moving to where the buffalo roam
Then moving again, to find a new home

There are echoes I hear, old songs in the dark
of the Indian ways, of long ago days,
still heard all around, in our valley below...
Where their dreams of tomorrow, are still sung by the lark....

by Carrie Richards 

The Wisdom of Russell Means - Final Interview

"One is expected to know things, to believe things.  Knowing and believing are all in your head - there is nothing in your heart.  If you cannot feel that the earth is your grandmother, then of course you will find it easy to rape her, to behave as if she is under your dominion.  You will find it easy to believe that we humans are the dominant species, and to act as though the earth and everything on it are ours to do with as we please.  ... if all human beings were taken away, life on earth would flourish."


"We Indians do not teach that there is only one god.  We know that everything has power, including the most inanimate, inconsequential things.  Stones have power.  A blade of grass has power.  Trees and clouds and all our relatives in the insect and animal world have power.  We believe we must respect that power by acknowledging it's presence.  By honoring the power of the spirits in that way, it becomes our power as well.  It protects us."


" They don't understand that a slice of the pie isn't the whole pie - but they wonder why they are always hungry."


" If you learn from an experience, that's good - so nothing bad happened to you."


" All European tradition, Marxism included, has conspired to defy the natural order of all things. Mother Earth has been abused, the powers have been abused, and this cannot go on forever. No theory can alter that simple fact. Mother Earth will retaliate, the whole environment will retaliate, and the abusers will be eliminated. Things come full circle, back to where they started. That's revolution."

Poem in October

It was my thirtieth year to heaven

Woke to my hearing from harbour and neighbour wood   

      And the mussel pooled and the heron

                  Priested shore

            The morning beckon

With water praying and call of seagull and rook

And the knock of sailing boats on the net webbed wall   

            Myself to set foot

                  That second

      In the still sleeping town and set forth.

      My birthday began with the water-

Birds and the birds of the winged trees flying my name   

      Above the farms and the white horses

                  And I rose   

            In rainy autumn

And walked abroad in a shower of all my days.

High tide and the heron dived when I took the road

            Over the border

                  And the gates

      Of the town closed as the town awoke.

      A springful of larks in a rolling

Cloud and the roadside bushes brimming with whistling   

      Blackbirds and the sun of October

                  Summery

            On the hill’s shoulder,

Here were fond climates and sweet singers suddenly   

Come in the morning where I wandered and listened   

            To the rain wringing

                  Wind blow cold

      In the wood faraway under me.

      Pale rain over the dwindling harbour

And over the sea wet church the size of a snail   

      With its horns through mist and the castle   

                  Brown as owls

            But all the gardens

Of spring and summer were blooming in the tall tales   

Beyond the border and under the lark full cloud.   

            There could I marvel

                  My birthday

      Away but the weather turned around.

      It turned away from the blithe country

And down the other air and the blue altered sky   

      Streamed again a wonder of summer

                  With apples

            Pears and red currants

And I saw in the turning so clearly a child’s

Forgotten mornings when he walked with his mother   

            Through the parables

                  Of sun light

      And the legends of the green chapels

      And the twice told fields of infancy

That his tears burned my cheeks and his heart moved in mine.   

      These were the woods the river and sea

                  Where a boy

            In the listening

Summertime of the dead whispered the truth of his joy   

To the trees and the stones and the fish in the tide.

            And the mystery

                  Sang alive

      Still in the water and singingbirds.

      And there could I marvel my birthday

Away but the weather turned around. And the true   

      Joy of the long dead child sang burning

                  In the sun.

            It was my thirtieth

Year to heaven stood there then in the summer noon   

Though the town below lay leaved with October blood.   

            O may my heart’s truth

                  Still be sung

      On this high hill in a year’s turning.

by Dylan Thomas

Addiction

Blindness.
A cloud of ignorance encompasses me.
Nothing can distract me from my dream.

Nothing... except -
The newfound hope of a better future
That overshadows previous fantasy.

Looking back, it's somewhat sad -
Everything that could have happened, but didn't,
Everything I was missing over the past four years.

True, there's anger - there's hurt.
But only for a while. Now I focus
On the wonderful blessings God has given me.

What I have now is *wholesome*,
And infinitely more worthwhile
Than anything I imagined I *might* obtain.

I was infatuated to the point of stupidity,
And would sacrifice anything for slim possibility...
Because I believe in miracles.

*Yes*, I believe in miracles -
The miracle that I could want something better for me,
And that my addiction paved the way for my brighter future.


by Amandanette

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
And if you dare to dream of meeting
Your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
For love, for your dream,
For the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
If you have been opened by life's betrayals,
Or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain,
Mine or your own,
Without moving
To hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy,
Mine or your own,
If you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
Without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic,
or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithless and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty
Even when it is not pretty every day,
And if you can source your life
From its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure,
Yours and mine,
And still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,
Weary and bruised to the bone,
And do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
In the center of the fire with me
And not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
From the inside
When all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
With yourself,
And if you truly like the company you keep
In the empty moments.


By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

A World of Lost Minds

The morning sun had set
now the night would beget
the sparkling stars that shine
speaking to this heart of mine

Where art thou Lord of dreams
I watch the ethereal streams of
haunted souls go by bringing 
tears to my eyes for all of their
needs

 For I am not content until I get
consent to enter the depths of
discernment to learn the measure
of your design so that you may
define my deeds

The systems of the world are meeting
manic minds  scheming  to  lay waste
causing hell in haste,  as the  liars who
live in lairs , can't get away from the
truths they fear, minds now lost

At what cost, the ignorant and numb
rely on the common sense of some
to save them from, the trials that lie
before us hoping to stem the evil course,
while they just find a place to play

Must the past be repeated, by the
indifferent who will retreat, allowing
things to pass them by, without even
trying to understand that our
nightmares have become a reality

by E T Waldron

The Rider

A boy told me

if he roller-skated fast enough

his loneliness couldn’t catch up to him,

the best reason I ever heard

for trying to be a champion.

What I wonder tonight

pedaling hard down King William Street

is if it translates to bicycles.

A victory! To leave your loneliness

panting behind you on some street corner

while you float free into a cloud of sudden azaleas,

pink petals that have never felt loneliness,

no matter how slowly they fell.


by Naomi Shihab Nye

Lost...

My Angel...
Where are you?
I'm lost, confused, alone...
I cannot see you...
There is darkness around me;
The fire has died, my light blown away
By an unwanted breeze...
I am wandering, going around and around
in circles...
Is there no end to this loneliness?

My Angel...
Where are you?
My heart is sad, it cannot hear your songs.
All I hear is the echo of your love,
Its melody fading...
Fading...
Fading...

Now there is only silence, maddening silence.
It is suffocating, draining my heart of your songs...
Is there no escape from this madness?

My Angel...
Where are you?
I am cold...
I cannot feel your wings around me,
Cannot feel your loving arms to embrace me...
There is only emptiness...
Emptiness that pulls, and pushes, and shoves...
The emptiness is within me, devouring me whole,
Leaving nothing left but an empty soul...
Where are you, my Angel? Come to me, fill me up with your love... Make me
whole again...
Do not leave me in this pit of despair...

My Angel...
Where are you?
I cannot see you, hear you, feel you...
Have you gone away from me? have you taken away my heart...

... My Angel,

... where are you?


by John Laset

Please Hold Onto Hope - A Personal Message from ne033x

Many of my friends and family know the "history" I have with my ex, Dara. Her drug addiction, and to be fair - mine too. I ended up quitting, and she didn't. She ended up literally losing everything, including her baby boy, Blaze, who I helped raise. I haven't spoken much of the details, but just know that for the past many months I have tried my very best to deal with an absolutely broken heart. You have no idea. I was in Blaze's life since he was just a few months old - changed his diapers, and tried my very best to show him a good world. He was my little buddy. And, he still is - will always be.

In the end, it wasn't about me and Dara, but this little child. He was taken away from his parents and put into foster care, and rightly so. It all depended on Dara to get clean to save him. I tried so hard to get her to realize this. I got frustrated often - even going so far as to tell her that Blaze doesn't deserve this, and that it was her fault. Not a day passed where I did not worry what Blaze was thinking of all of this. This is sense of pain and sorrow that no words can ever describe. What I have been dealing with.

Anyhow, a couple weeks ago, Dara came over and told me she was going to check into treatment for her drug addiction. I was so happy. BUT, I've heard it all before, so I just hoped it was true. She was that beautiful Dara I fell in love with, and I was just floored. I told her that I would literally do anything to help her with this. Well, she cleaned up my house, took care of me, and then all the sudden she was gone. I assumed she went back to her junkie buddies, and at this point, I literally lost all hope. If you watched my Queen music video, that's the story behind it. http://youtu.be/C0dKQrjkHEc

So, I didn't think it could get any worse, but it did - losing all hope in Dara getting better, and for saving Blaze from this bullshit he's had to see. Everything was now a pure struggle for me - just the simple act of getting out of bed in the morning. I felt lost, and everything just seemed hopeless.

Until yesterday...

The first thing that happened was - that morning - me admitting to one of my closest bros that no one understands the bond that Dara and me have. And, I know she's upset cuz I feel it. But, I can't do anything anymore cuz we'd came to the end of our journey together. I remember him telling me, 'you don't have to tell me what you and Dara have because I know.' And, it's the truth - Dara is my soulmate - we both know this. And, I am going to help illustrate this point.

About noon, a friend of mine stopped by and in conversation she brought up that she thought Dara had went to treatment after all. I was shocked - I said, "WHAT?" And, she told me that she didn't know for sure, but she thought Dara had went into the drug treatment program.

About an hour later, I go to my bro again, and I told him what I heard. I told him that I really needed to know for sure because it would literally change everything! I called my friend back and she told me Dara won't even be able to call or write for fifteen days, if she was in treatment. All I could think about was that I needed to know for sure - so I could stop trying to hate someone I love so much.

About an hour later, a call came from a Portland, Oregon number. It was Dara. The first thing she said was that she had this strong feeling that she needed to call me. She convinced the staff there that it was an emergency and called me from the office.

Man! Here's where my "manhood" comes into question because I started crying the minute I heard her voice. She'd been clean and in treatment for 5 days already, and she liked it. It was not as hard as she thought it would be. She has her own little apartment, and Blaze will be there in a couple weeks. Yes, it's a family drug abuse treatment program. She's in another city, far away, and she said the program will last months. I reassured her that I would literally do anything to help her with this! She needs anything - she better ask!

Anyhow, I know in my heart and soul that the change has taken hold of her life. This is a miracle. This is - literally - all that meant anything to me in life right now. We both told each other, 'I love you', and I am so happy. And, I'm writing this as an example.

Miracles do happen!

Hidden Mystery

For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is but a vision.
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.In the deepest depths of you and me
In the deepest depths of we
Lies the most beautiful jewel
Shining forth eternally

Within that precious jewel
Within that priceless piece of we
Lies a time beyond all time
Lies a place beyond all space

Within that sacred source of radiance
Lies a love beyond all love
Waiting
          Waiting
                    Waiting
Ever so patiently

Waiting for you, waiting for me
Waiting patiently for all to see
The beauty that is you inside of me
The beauty that is me inside of thee

In the deepest depths of you and me
In the deepest depths of we
Lies the love and wisdom
Of all Eternity


By Fred Burks